out of the satisfied daze...

Seems that there was something very satisfying in arriving here and just being in a city that is so familiar and beloved. My time was happily spent being near family and friends, exploring a new, yet old neighbourhood, walking streets that I used to walk 30 years ago when I lived nearby. I was happy just being here.

One must not become complacent seems to be the lesson as circumstances are shifting again and new challenges await. I awoke this morning, consciously holding the details of a dream where I had arrived into a position where I no longer had to worry about money. That my years of lists of expenses and income were a thing of the past and I could just relax and work and play without worry. I wanted to hang on to that sense of confidence and knowledge of having created the situation that I had been seeking for so long.

I determined a little while back that the measure of reaching that milestone would be I would no longer have those carefully scribed post-it notes of figures in backs of notebooks, with either plus or minus signs to indicate whether I was winning or losing the game. I have done this since I can remember and with a few times of respite when the numbers seem to take care of themselves (or my earnings were more than sufficient to cover the costs), this has been a monthly ritual.

What becomes clear as I write this is the sacred importance I have placed on this ritual. It is no wonder that not much has actually shifted from this circumstance over the years given how faithful to this practice I have been.

Without the time to actually consider what else, I will not jump too quickly to another way of managing the money but in this clarity, I can see how I have not served my intention of abundance with a bi-weekly accounting of scarcity.

More thoughts to ponder - a new ritual to invent...