In an unexpected moment of appreciation for the current state of affairs of my life, I am relishing my given quest for the year 2010 and am once again "Letting Go". (I think there is a "Trust the Universe" edict in here too somewhere, but that part is not apparent to me yet).
- Letting go of the "graceful" transition from a paid position that I had been counting on to a self generated income stream.
- Letting go of how it is "supposed" to look to be generating that income stream.
- Letting go of an idea that I am somehow at "fault" for not having immediately stepped into fabulous financial freedom.
- Letting go of the second guessing (what if I had stayed at that last position - the one before the last one??).
- Letting go of feeling guilty for taking the time, when it presents itself, to be working on me - my writing, my connections.
- Letting go that I have any fracking control over the Universe and continuing to generate ideas, thoughts, possibilities and job applications without loss of enthusiasm.
I have never experienced a challenge in my life that I did not appreciate in some way later. I guess I will have become enlightened when I can appreciate it in the moment. So, today, I am dwelling on what the lesson of this time will be when I get to review it from the more generous 20/20 hindsight perspective.
And the other questions that comes up is: what am I resisting? Now, I am aware that this is one of those giant, looping questions which may never resolve itself or provide much value in the considerations - so I just mention it in passing.
Feels harder to be trusting of the outcome today than it was a month ago, but here I am putting my fondest dreams out there again - creating a patchwork of circumstances that will be the quilt of income/money for the winter and building towards a marvelous future.
As a dear friend of mine used to say "Might as well... can't dance, ain't got a ticket". Carry on!
3 comments:
certainly forces a.. living a day at a time, today you have food shelter love, and tomorrow i am quite sure you will too but you may not get to live/know that with any certainty until tomorrow... only this moment, that`s all that really exists and the next is created out of your faith trust and surrender to this one... i think it is not so much about resistance carol, as fear and trust.....sending love, and a good dose of trust and relaxing into the moment, we are so not in charge!!!!
Elaine could not have expressed my view more clearly. So agree ... we are so not in charge. Take good care of yourself, Carol. xx
I have been where you are and can relate. Personally I have always found a better opportunity awaited me when I "let go" of my ideas of what should be. A wise friend once told me to think of my worst case scenario, work out a solution for it and then let go of the fear. It is a very powerful and empowering feeling. I don't worry about you. I am excited for you and this time in your life! Enjoy it because you may never have this gift again. .....LB
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