Decades passing

Last week I renewed my professional membership in the International Coaches Association and ticked the box "10 +" for the number of years that I have been coaching.  This year marks the 10th anniversary of my coach training and the discovery of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  That year was also my 50th birthday year and a year of unparalleled growth in my career, stepping into vastly more responsibility.  I passed the exam for my real estate license and married off a daughter (now, that was FUN!).  Perhaps there is something to marking the passing of a decade that speeds up the process and gives a deadline to completing something.

Pondering how I want to mark this year has been an interesting process.  I have bounced between worry that it isn't going to turn out to fulfill my high expectations and consciously letting it flow and unfold as naturally and organically as possible.  I have some big projects in the works and as I chip away at each one over the period of a week, I can see some progress and try to be gentle when it feels I am stalled.  My intention for this year is to have a blend of completions and beginnings, with just the right balance of play and effort.  I have no grand plan other than a promise that I will have one great celebration or experience each month this year.

So far, I have been to a live rock show, something I haven't done in years, celebrated with indulgence the abirnerfersary of the first date with my sweetie (42 years ago!) and this month I will see Elton John play live for the first time and take on training in a program of Systems Thinking that fascinates me (that is two for March).  The rest of the year stretches out in front of me and I am approaching it with curiosity and a sense of fun to be had.

The world looks very different now 10 years later and I am spending some time considering the changes for better or worse.  Now, with two marvelous grandsons to play with, living with my sweetheart in the neighbourhood I dreamed of, spending my time directed, for the most part, in what I want to be doing, I don't know that I could have predicted this wealth of happiness that I experience.  There were days 10 years ago when I would stand in the shower before heading to the office in Vancouver and wonder how much longer I could keep up the effort and energy it took to work that job with the responsibility and travel.  Life feels simpler and easier now even though it remains complicated and complex at different turns.

I have conversations with my 70 year old future self and contemplate what life will look like in another decade.  This past 10 years were not foreseen by the Carol preparing for work in North Vancouver, so I expect the next will be just as surprising.  Time to put some messages in a bottle for that "old gal" considering how to commemorate 2027.

What is the note-to-self that you want to forward ahead 10 years?  What will you be celebrating?

Best year yet?

When I first had the word "breathe" tattoo'd on my wrist, I had no idea how often I would glance at it, trace the letters and be grateful for the reminder to consciously do something that is supposedly so without thought or effort.  What became clear was the difference made when I did bring focus to my breath to stop and be aware.  

Lots is written about awareness and mindfulness today and I still experience the outcome in my life as if it is magic.  Pausing to breathe in and out instantly pulls my 90 mph mind from the Indianapolis 500 racetrack blurring through the windshield perspective.  Miraculously, with nothing more than a breath, stillness, just for a second, overtakes the anxious whirring.  A  reminder of this minor wonder was worth the curious bee sting sensation that accompanied the inking of my body.

I approached the beginning of this year with a troubled feeling that I was already behind.  I had the nasty flu that flattened many people over the holidays and looking at the unsent Christmas cards on my desk this morning, I realized that I wasn't getting those two weeks back and it was time to move on to embrace the potential of 2017.  I have a marvelous day book for the year titled "Make %*it happen", with the "S-H" artfully blacked out on the cover.  It is a "Call-to-action" or CTA as my brilliant marketing colleagues would say.  And it is a theme I am very ready to welcome this year.  

This will be the 60th spin around the sun for this body.  It feels momentous and worth celebrating.  It will coincide with the completion (if the good lord is willin' and the crik don't rise too much) of my Masters degree and the sesqui-centennial for Canada.  There will be all kinds of events and fireworks displays which I will take full advantage of to mark my birthday year.  There are also notable opportunities unfolding related to my degree program and advancing my coaching practice and I am really excited about the next twelve months.  I feel prepared to be fully at work, exercising my awareness muscles to gain more capacity to be in the moment and yet gazing ahead.  

Writing, journalling, sharing thoughts and dialogue will enhance my experience and allow me to engage with others to further the happenings.  What is your Call to Action?  What will make this your best year yet?

Upon the occasion of the anniversary of the birth of my daughter

27 years ago, right about now, I was blissing out in the sun streaming through the window of the birthing room at the 'new' VGH, with this perfect, little pink bundle in my arms, nursing contentedly. My daughter was born at 7:17 am on May 20th, arriving quickly after keeping us all waiting for 3 weeks past the due date. She was the first granddaughter born into a family of 10 grandsons and was showered with all the pink and fluffy, frilly things that everyone had been waiting to give a baby. Her grandfather came to visit her in the hospital and when I said "let's go see her", stopped in his tracks with the marvel at having a granddaughter.

She grew up around a lot of boys, followed her beloved big brother around in adoration. She spent lots of time with her father, who thought she could do anything and she learned to be fearless on cliffs, rocks and logs around the ocean. She grew up in a housing co-op with many loving adults and enough "other-mothers" to show her many ways to be a woman. She challenged me with her independence at an early age and knew who I was long before I was brave enough to acknowledge my own knowingness.

She traversed her inner world like her outer world, with the spirit of an explorer in her teens. She called out her teachers and her peers when they fell short and developed ferocious loving friendships and relationships. We learned to accept and appreciate each other during those stormy teenage years, when the turbulent times were affecting us both. She moved in with the man who is now her husband just before she finished high school and I packed her up with my blessing and celebrated her moving powerfully into her life.

She has nurtured that romance into a strong, solid marriage with a man who loves her immeasurably. They exchanged vows in a wedding ceremony that brought together 130 people in their community, joining families and friends into their inviting circle. My daughter became a mother last year, blessing me with a miraculous grandson, who she shares with me so openly. She has created a home which is a welcome place for everyone, it is often full and lively. She is growing a beautiful garden and is often happiest with her hands in the dirt. Her son is treasured by many people and will grow up in this community that she continues to build. She knows that she has work to do on this planet and that it is not always easy to be the one to show others their strength and possibility, but like everywhere else in her life, she tackles it with determination and bravery.

She has taught me more about who I am than I can fathom. She trusts that I have answers when I feel like I haven't a clue. She knows before the phone rings that I am calling her and is connected to me so deeply it feels like the umbilical cord was never cut, 27 years ago.

Happy birthday to my darling daughter - I am so glad you are in my life!

image credit to mmmcraft