Wisdom, but at what price?

Hmmm, this morning as I was putting on my makeup - a daily routine that is always done with a little dialogue with the woman in the mirror (shout-out to MJ) - I considered whether wisdom is ever attainable without deterioration of the physical being? For I am finally figuring out some fundamental truths about me and life and at the same time discovering that I ain't as young as I used ta be...

So, I wondered if we ever recognize a sage in a young person or whether that is discarded as brash arrogance? And if that is so, which I suspect it is, what is needed to shift our awareness of wise people sooner on our path - especially if they are our peers or children, because wouldn't this be much simpler if we just accepted the messages from the universe that drip onto our heads 10,000 times until they leave an impression?

This actually just firms my resolve to live to 100, an active, happy, energetic 100 years where I actually get a chance to do something with my new found grace and awareness. Particularly because right now I don't seem to be very masterful in this realm - I need a few more years at least to gain some confidence and a lot more conversations with the bleary eyed reflection when I wash my face!

Need it be brilliant?

While I have been exploring the worlds of my blogging companions and noticing how connected I feel to them, I have come to realize that what really works for me is to read something from them every day. When one of my 'regulars' takes a well deserved day off and does not coincide with one of my days off, I am disappointed that I missed my glimpse into their lives. This and the brilliant conversations I had with colleagues last week about the powerful affiliations created in our social networks has inspired me to write far more often.

Not a day goes by when I haven't had pause to consider an aspect of my life, so, why not share?

Today, I noticed that I am ready for more than 2 or 3 days off in a row - yes, it is time for a holiday. However, I have not structured my life to accomplish this in the current glory days of summer. My next extended period away from work will be in the next 2-3 weeks, answering the baby hot-line and rushing to share in the labour and delivery of the grandbaby. Not exactly mai-tai, margaritas, mango daiquiris (insert beverage of choice) on the beach, hmmm?

This leads to thoughts about taking care of myself, appreciating my contributions and creating not only the time but the means to vacate (that just doesn't cut it as the verb for vacation, does it?). Since I am now an "independent contractor" in the parlance of the new world of business, that means no paid vacation time, which I had really taken for granted after 4 years of working in a corporate structure. So, how to accomplish this? Well, my financially oriented friends would be able to assist me in a budget planning session where I carefully put away sufficient funds for a planned holiday in the future. That and the coaches I surround myself with who can assist with finding the structure to support my self-love commitment should do the trick. In the meanwhile, days with the new baby and stolen hours in the sun during on a glorious day during the week will have to suffice. Truly mini-holidays...

Ridiculously grateful for my life

Sunshine nourishes my soul, there is absolutely no question about it! The glorious heat this week, starting with the first glimpses of the sun through the blinds and stretching into the magical last remnants of light in the sky at 10:30 at night enjoyed on the deck, has been unlike anything I remember in June on Vancouver Island. Sitting in my office, lightly sweating from the exertion of tapping keys on my keyboard, now that is much more like Mexico. Big smile on my face!!

I chose the "unlimited" class option on the yoga classes for this term (hey, it was $12 more than 2 classes per week, what a bargain!) and I have been taking in 3 classes a week. Three 90 minute yoga classes in a beautiful little studio, with wonderful yoga teachers, laughing, stretching and contorting in the warmth has been well, I have nothing to compare it to - never done this before. But the way my body feels, so well used, so open and loose? This is a practice that I will continue for the rest of my life! Yoga has kept me sane this last month as I gritted my teeth through the various inconveniences and frustrations of my husband's broken foot and consequent complications. Don't get me wrong, I have tremendous appreciation that it was not occurring in MY body and no lack of sympathy for the awful state he was in. I just wasn't completely selfless in my service to his situation and needed the graceful exit to the yoga studio to regain my calm.

The "borrowed" house has been shown a few more times - one pretty serious potential buyer. She will be looking again tomorrow and I suspect an offer will be forthcoming. This will set in motion the anticipated moves and changes and I am very ready. Careful consideration and setting intention for the next locale has been done and I am making some very specific requests to the Universe for our next home. Timing to have it all done and me settled into the new routine by September would be ideal.

Meanwhile, I will continue to express my heartfelt gratitude for my life as it is. In my observance of the quirky (but completely human) workings of my mind, I have also taken on expression of thankfulness for the power of creation through saying it will be so. Jean Luc Picard had it right; "Make it so". I am here because I said this is what I wanted. I am (dare I say it?) CONTENT!

I want to make sure to give credit for the beautiful artwork at the top of my blog - the artist is Chris Chun (http://www.chrischun.com/) and this piece, called Poppy Vase Teacup summed up the glory of today.

Considerations on the walk through viewing of my life - redux

Just had the first walk through of the house, while I was sitting here...

ohh - hating technology right now - just completed a lovely blog post and then deleted it accidently because I wanted to get rid of a flippin' photo... ARGHH

Will now and try and recreate my thoughts...

Having the realtor and her clients peering in every cupboard, checking out every nook & cranny, peeking into my walk in closet, snooping in my bathroom and discussing the merits/drawbacks of the house that I am borrowing, I became very aware of my reaction and apparent need to have a home of my own! A home without a landlady upstairs, discouraging planting a garden and very territorial about the flowers that are there; one where the board of directors doesn't have the power to determine that my lifestyle and life don't "fit" in their co-operative community; one where there is not a For Sale sign in the yard advertising the fact that I will have to move, likely sooner not later. A home where I can unpack my stuff and recycle my boxes and settle in.

I find that that tears shine in my eyes when I type that - a reaction that isn't completely surprising given that my horoscope (thank you, Georgia Nicols) and numerology (thank you, Janyne Sinclaire) have clearly stated this is the time to sort out my home base and get grounded for the future, but the intensity of the emotion is unexpected. Having "the" home was about 4 1/2 years into the next 5 year plan, given that being able to qualify and pay for a mortgage was the prerequisite for the purchase. Seems that this has jumped the priority list and now is the time for contemplation of what that means.

Home - an inquiry about distinguishing the significance of that word has begun. What makes where I live my home? Well, here are the key elements:

- Unpacking, settling and not moving for a long time

- Proximity to the people I love

- A kitchen conducive to cooking with and for said people

- In a neighbourhood that I want to hang out in

- In an environment that calls me to be outside and active

Everything else is up for grabs and becomes the wish list - these are the deal-breakers. Oh yes, and SOON is the timeline. Which is timely as I have committed to examining the 5 year plan this weekend and coming up with the framework and how it will merge with the business and corporate plan also in the works.

So knowing the bank account balance and lacking a fairy godmother in the closet (maybe the realtor left one...), imaginative and creative solutions are called for. And respecting my very visceral reaction to other people, potentially the new owners, viewing where I live, a degree of urgency for resolution arises.

And I knew that - I am not a happy gypsy and honestly, the last 10 years have been about contemplating moving, planning the next move, packing and unpacking, but not throwing away the boxes as they will be needed again - it really is time to come home.

Trials of Translucent Transcendent Transformation

The pertinent word is "Trials" as much as I love the alliteration of the title. You see, I have a partially completed five year plan in my journal-of-all-sorts. I got stalled out midway through 2010, not even able to envision past then. I realized that this time in the world, which is so magical and brimming with possibility is also so damned uncertain that I don't have the foggiest idea where I will be in 2014, much less what I will be doing. I guess I need two five year plans. One is the world transformed, the Venus Project will be flourishing, we will have reached an unimagined level of awareness and awakening. We will have brought forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling and socially just human presence on Planet Earth (Awakening the Dreamer) and my grandchildren will be cavorting in my garden with me.

Well, as my blog is now being written as stream-of-consciousness, bear with me...for I have changed my mind - I don't need two five year plans - I only need that one. For the alternative is not one which I will give any energy to - not even for speculative contrast. We don't need to be reminded of that future; it is apparent all around us. There are many who will continue to describe it, discuss it and wait for its seeming inevitable outcomes.

Not me! But not from my usual Pollyanna place because that has not been particularly effective or powerful. What I am seeing as I type this is my responsibility - to complete the vision of the five year plan - and to live it through my actions. Support and defend the visionaries, bolster the continuation of the dialogue fiercely and be absolutely unwilling to accept anything less. It remains surprising to me how much I am being called to be ferocious and how clear the messages are that all other ways of being are no longer acceptable. I feel as though I don't even have any choice, everything else feels hollow and incomplete.

While the path is not yet clearly marked, the destination is and "We're off you know to a distant land And the only ones allowed to come are those who feel they can" (Klaatu - 1977'ish). Will you join me??

More magic than I ever imagined!

This is an image of my yet-to-be-born grandson... I just have to pause after typing that because I am truly overwhelmed by all the emotions the image evokes. Compared to last month's blurry snapshot and the primitive, grainy suggestions of something on a Polaroid that were ultrasounds for my kids (I know, I know, back in my day...), this is like getting to see the trailer before the movie - wow, there he is!

Snuggling up to my darling daughter this past weekend, ensconced on the couch with a blanket, very conscious that it is now 3 of us all curled up, I was graced with a moment of indescribeable gratitude. Into this circle of loving family, "our" baby will be encouraged, supported, cared for, played with, taught and shared. And truthfully, that is the part that excites me - that I get to share this new baby, he is part of MY family.

And as spring slowly progresses, it seems we did not get our little teaser of really warm weather in March this year. Those of you on the west coast of Canada will know, the days in March when it reaches +15 and you think, YES, winter is over, just before the temperature falls and the grey rains set in again. Not even a taste of that yet, which is just as well, because I always find it so disappointing that the heat hasn't really arrived.

This year, my days are marked by the birds - in my office, my eyes are often drawn to the sky or the enormous trees across the street to the movement of my winged friends. My neighbour, a saint to all creatures, feeds flocks of the birds and I get the bonus - many of them hang around my house. Unfortunately, this also means they semi-regularly fly into my windows despite having flagged the windows with stuff. Poor little things, they hardly stand a chance with our intrusions on their world.

Life is abundant in all respects right now, coming back to my gratitude. Each day is magical, indeed!

Waking up to birds

This week, despite the freezing cold weather, (at least for this part of the world), I have been wakened by the insistent and persistent voices of the birds outside my window. They know that it is supposed to be spring even though the weather man does not share their enthusiasm.

I have been creating practices that support my well-being this past several weeks, having done an inventory of the broken promises of fitness and health strewn across the landscape of winter. I am always surprised by the extent to which my sense of wholeness and integrity are affected by my physical body. This is no revelation for many of my commitedly fit friends but for some reason, this knowledge rarely empowers me.

I have been making use of a beautiful Moleskine journal that my son gave me for Christmas to capture thoughts and images that reflect being inspired and energized in my life. Since I impose very strict rules on my journal writing (has to be handwritten, in a beautiful script, using each page, every line, no spelling errors, dated for review and consideration - very legible in case my memoirs get published etc...) this freedom of sticking cut out pictures from magazines, colouring and drawing and without form and order is very freeing! And it has resulted in inspiration for a lean, strong, peaceful me. I have discovered that I want to exercise and stretch, walk regularly, meditate each day. That is a huge breakthrough for me. Now I will take that momentum into continued action and realize the vision of that Carol striding up the hill and running on the beach.