A Year of Completion...

At the J-O-B that I still work at, where I literally punch a clock and sit at a desk where I am not always called to do my heart's work, there is a policy that my password needs to change every three months.  Now you know the schtick, it has to have a certain combination of letters, numbers and so on to qualify.  I took on creating a password that is a declaration or intention for what I want to create or manifest.  This idea came from another brilliant person who used this to heal a relationship with his ex-wife by having a password that said "L1nd@isAmazing" or something of the sort, so that he contemplated what it would be like to have a loving outlook for someone he had been in deep conflict with each time he logged in to his computer.

Well, I adopted this practice and this year the passwords have been a series of reminders about getting things done and wrapping up projects that had been hanging around long enough to feel very stale.  Not the least of which was completing my Masters' degree.  Along with "Year0fCompletion", I had "MAInterdisciplinary!" to cheer me on to get across the finish line.  They worked and after I received notification that my major research project had been accepted and the Academic Council had conferred my degree, I changed the log-in to "Everything1sperfect".  

Typing a declaration that life is perfect over and over turned out to have its own challenges as I was quickly faced with a world where a dear friend's daughter died and my own daughter's marriage went through major upheaval and the UN declared a climate crisis is upon us.  Less than ideal circumstances for a perfect life.  But, the reminder that life is perfect, no matter what, has been an excellent exercise in trusting the Universe.

I was forced to consider what my definition of perfection is and how often I sit in judgement of how this life is not the right one (and of course, how it would be, if only...).  As a coach, I often ask my clients to hang in with me in an uncomfortable conversation, one where I am gently provoking thought in areas that are unfamiliar.  And, this then applies to me (frustrating when there is no place to hide from your own inner coach!).  

So, the antidote has been I have been practicing my appreciation and gratitude once again.  Next week, as I walk across the much dreamed about stage to receive my degree, I will be present to the power of dreams and holding space for them to come true, even when they seem unattainable.  Absolutely miraculous...and perhaps this achievement came from changing my password?  Who knows!

Days of fog

Interesting that it took almost a week of fog, completely concealing Maple Bay, for me to realize that I, too, have been in a fog for the last while. Oh, I justify it with the "it's January" line and give myself all kinds of reasons that it is okay to be sleeping in and not out walking. This morning I realized how pervasive both the murkiness of the weather and my state of mind have been. As quite often occurs, the "aha" came in a coaching a client, for which I am eternally grateful for being a coach - I always get as much value as the person I am coaching. What became apparent was that the next year is going to be a roller coaster of ups and downs and the sooner I get onto the ride, the quicker I will be zooming along.

I have been resisting what is possible this year - looking at the all the rationale for it not being an extraordinary twelve months. This manifests in insignificant, petty, trivial behaviors that do not lead to action. I waste time, find "busy" work to do, avoid the steps that would have me being engaged. It is then a short jump to being discouraged and so very tired...

What I am committed to - all of us, connected, remembering and being known - won't come out of those well worn paths. It is only in recognizing and celebrating the incredible journey ahead, all the work, toil and energy it will take, that is actually going to translate into the fruition I desire. "Fruition": the manifestation of good efforts. That about says it all.

And how does this "aha" become the action? As we all love insights, especially juicy ones that shine such clarity on how it has been, my experience has been that it often stalls there. Well, my advice to a client would be - get a coach! Establish the structure to encourage the little spark of insight to stay lit. So, that is next - the first step I will take is the one I have put off for months - finding a coach for me. I am playing a big game here, I have declared that I WILL make a difference in the world. Best to have my team in place in order to win at this contest.

On the "Grammy" front (like "Grammy Hall", I love it) - my daughter and I went through bags of baby clothes last weekend - we had so much fun. Of course the ensembles we created for this oh-so-stylish little person were all for a boy as that is where the contributions had come from, and we are not yet clear on baby's gender, it grounded this miracle that is happening in our lives in reality. I wonder if this awareness that I have of the incredible nature of this event comes from being one generation removed? I sure don't remember having thoughts like this when I was pregnant. Must be the gift of being a grandparent. Whew, I am very grateful that I am not going through the physical-ness of having a baby inside me - I just get to share the intimacy of it with my very generous and loving daughter!