A winter of content?

Having read of the identification of the long buried remains of King Richard III (under a parking lot, now who would have ever thought to look for them there?), I was interested to read of the words accredited to him via our friend Will Shakespeare - "My kingdom for a horse" (I thought it was Bugs Bunny who said that...) and "now is the winter of my discontent".  

It made me think of how winter seems to breed discontent and here in the northern climes, I am right on board with the throngs of Vitamin D deficient, sallow cheeked, slug-belly white folks, peering anxiously out their windows, hoping for a glimpse of sunshine and yearning for warmth.  I have developed a dangerous attachment to my down duvet and have learned to step out of my shoes into my fleece lined slippers without ever risking a step onto the cold floor.  While I live in the most sub-tropical region of this grand country, the mercury is hovering constantly under 10 degrees (or 50 degrees F for those who need a translation).  That just isn't warm enough...

However, what really drew me to comment was that despite the chilly environment outside my door, I am experiencing a distinct contentment.  As I have noted previously, I am immediately suspicious of this feeling, waiting for the shoe to drop and the dread to creep in.  But this time, there is some sense of sustainability to my contentedness.  I can hear my coach asking, "where does it live in your body?".  Good question, coach... well, it is centred around my heart.  Funny that, lines up with all that I am learning about the power of our hearts.  Did you know the heart muscle responds before the brain fires?  And that hearts can be broken?  And we all know the cost of not caring for our hearts.  In my case, my dad was gone at the young age of 67 because of heart condition that first threatened his life in his 50's.  And yes, as I pass the midpoint of that decade, I am all too aware of what nurtures and what challenges my heart.

Consciously building into my life the pieces that are loving to my heart is so worthwhile.  Continued learning, supported by people who are awake and sharing their consciousness and commitment with me makes a huge difference.  Practicing stretching and working on my mind and body brings focus and determination to this ability.  I get reminders to be silly and have learned that being happy does not have a limit, that is to say you cannot be too happy.  

A year or two ago my mantra was "Trust the Universe", this year it is "Let Go".  I am so committed to that lesson that I am preparing to get it inked on my arms.  My daughter had "Let Go and Breathe" tattooed on her wrists a long time ago and it is just about the only permanent expression I can imagine living with for the rest of my days.  So, I have dug out my calligraphy pens and am designing the letters that I want re-created on my wrists.  I don't think there is much more that needs to be said; just, let go!

Let go!! Part 2

Okay, now I am envisioning when you are a little kid and another kid who wants to be your friend but has disgusting sticky and filthy hands grabs onto you. You shake your arm violently and yell "Let GO!!". Having woken from a seemingly endless looping dream of needing to be in control of various situations, including taking care of my children, grandchildren and all the global disasters, I have realized that letting go isn't as simple as it sounds.



I have some signficant attachment to remaining attached.



In fact, I am convinced that if I don't keep scanning the horizon for the next attack/accident/crisis with shoulders tensed and adrenaline ready to shoot through my body that "my" world will quite possibly collapse. After all, it has been my vigilance that kept body and soul together for me and my extended family so far, isn't it?



This seems silly as I re-read it but that is contrary to the sensation that I have in my gut - this feels very grim over here in this sack of watery flesh. I actually operate in the world like I have the responsibility for taking care of it all. And I take on this grave duty very seriously, in case you hadn't noticed.



Now, there is good news... having noticed the extent of being gripped by this super hero delusion, I have an opportunity to hang up the cape. Bad news is that it is double knotted around my neck, so it might take a little loosening before I can take it off.



I always laugh with my coaching clients when the "trust" thing comes up - it is so consistent in everyone's conversation, how it all rolls back to trust. Coach, listen for thyself - uh huh, I can do this! My note from the Universe this morning http://www.tut.com/ (shout out to Mike Dooley) said that I will "prevail, thrive and arrive". I will trust that this morning!

It's raining, it's pouring

...the old man is snoring - funny how those childhood rhymes don't go away but I forget to take out the garbage on garbage day.

The power of intention - that has me be curious today. Yesterday I fully intended to be successful in my phone calls and have some completed registrations for our summer course. Nothing, nada, zip, zero, "thank you, no", "not right now", "I will think about it"... not the responses I was looking for. Which has me pause and wonder about my focus and ability and what I am missing.

What comes to mind is the tattoo on my daughter's wrists (and probably the only phrase I would consider inking on my body) "Let go" "and breathe". Letting go - I am not so good at that. I am much more skilled and experienced in the pitbull method - you know, hanging on with jaws locked beyond all reason and logic?! Setting an intention and trusting the universe? Seems dodgy and somehow, well, lazy. Yet I know that when I hear the words "make it work" in my head that I am in the ferocious hanging on state and almost always unsuccessful in my efforts.

So, (deep breath - that is the "breathing" part) I am letting go of the outcome today. (Sure, sure, says the voice in my head - and how do you think that is going to work out?) No, really, I am going to shift my attention to other tasks, get to work on areas that I can make a difference in and trust that the universe will provide the responses that are needed. Must keep breathing consciously today - otherwise letting go is not an option.