Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Play it again, Sam... Letting Go...

In an unexpected moment of appreciation for the current state of affairs of my life, I am relishing my given quest for the year 2010 and am once again "Letting Go".  (I think there is a "Trust the Universe" edict in here too somewhere, but that part is not apparent to me yet).

     - Letting go of the "graceful" transition from a paid position that I had been counting on to a self generated income stream.
     - Letting go of how it is "supposed" to look to be generating that income stream.
     - Letting go of an idea that I am somehow at "fault" for not having immediately stepped into fabulous financial freedom.
     - Letting go of the second guessing (what if I had stayed at that last position - the one before the last one??).
     - Letting go of feeling guilty for taking the time, when it presents itself, to be working on me - my writing, my connections.
     - Letting go that I have any fracking control over the Universe and continuing to generate ideas, thoughts, possibilities and job applications without loss of enthusiasm.

I have never experienced a challenge in my life that I did not appreciate in some way later.  I guess I will have become enlightened when I can appreciate it in the moment.  So, today, I am dwelling on what the lesson of this time will be when I get to review it from the more generous 20/20 hindsight perspective. 

And the other questions that comes up is:  what am I resisting?  Now, I am aware that this is one of those giant, looping questions which may never resolve itself or provide much value in the considerations - so I just mention it in passing.

Feels harder to be trusting of the outcome today than it was a month ago, but here I am putting my fondest dreams out there again - creating a patchwork of circumstances that will be the quilt of income/money for the winter and building towards a marvelous future.

As a dear friend of mine used to say "Might as well... can't dance, ain't got a ticket".  Carry on!


elainelaurin said...

certainly forces a.. living a day at a time, today you have food shelter love, and tomorrow i am quite sure you will too but you may not get to live/know that with any certainty until tomorrow... only this moment, that`s all that really exists and the next is created out of your faith trust and surrender to this one... i think it is not so much about resistance carol, as fear and trust.....sending love, and a good dose of trust and relaxing into the moment, we are so not in charge!!!!

Donna, Doni, Lady D said...

Elaine could not have expressed my view more clearly. So agree ... we are so not in charge. Take good care of yourself, Carol. xx

Anonymous said...

I have been where you are and can relate. Personally I have always found a better opportunity awaited me when I "let go" of my ideas of what should be. A wise friend once told me to think of my worst case scenario, work out a solution for it and then let go of the fear. It is a very powerful and empowering feeling. I don't worry about you. I am excited for you and this time in your life! Enjoy it because you may never have this gift again. .....LB