I already suspect that 2010 is going to go down in the history of my life as a year of changes. I think I need my friend Janyne to do my numerology for this year - I am sure it would show up as "change" year, whatever number that is. This all provides marvelous material for pondering and therefore blogging, as discomfort is often the trigger for putting fingers to keys to express, expel and exorcise the demons of worry.
So, knowing that change is the constant in the universe, why is it that I am constantly caught by surprise when I am faced with it? We just got sorted out with the 'borrowed' house, getting a six month reprieve in having to move, I thought that we might have a little bit of calm for a time. Not so much, it seems. Next is an upheaval in the status quo of the work situation, the result of a planning session that, as far as I am concerned, went seriously sideways. Well, at least not in the direction that I expected. Which is the background issue here - expectations; some spoken, some assumed but all that had left me with an apparently misguided sense of stability.
Now the sky has not fallen. I am blessed with a circumstance where dialogue is still going on and resolutions satisfactory to everyone is the commitment. It isn't that I doubt my ability to land on my feet, I have proven that many times over the past 10 years and the various iterations of my professional life, but this winter I have noticed that I am a little tired. This could be simply coming down the home stretch towards a much anticipated holiday (which I am very glad that I booked before all this disruption) but my energy for pushing outcomes is limited.
Which leads back to that trusting thing - (are ALL my conversations circular ones?!) and the Universe clearly is challenging me to do so. So, tonight, warm and ensconced in my upstairs home, with the fireplace glowing, oysters in the fridge, bubbly wine chilling (any excuse for sparkling wine is acceptable - even uninvited variations on the agreed upon agenda) and my dear and patient husband who has agreed to stay with me no matter where we end up, my life is pretty awesome. And change is in the wind... stay tuned!
photo credit to Pere Soler