The human brain is just too strange, isn't it? The instant that my focus was taken off the task of finding a new home (okay, it might have gotten a little dramatic there in hindsight), I immediately began to mentally list all that I will miss about this one. Oh, the hummingbirds, what if it is too windy for hummingbirds down there? Oh, the calm weather, how will I live with the constant wind of Dallas Road? Oh, the cupboard space, how will I squish all my stuff into that small place? I am just never satisfied, it seems.
And so I am pondering that elusive state of contentment this morning. I know there is much more research available to examine the state of happiness and positive psychology. I even have "the power of kindness, The unexpected benefits of leading a compassionate life" by Piero Ferrucci on my desk and I highly recommend it. When I grabbed it and opened it to the last page that I was reading, I had highlighted this: "At the center of trust we find surrender...Letting go is a major spiritual breakthrough." I have been actively studying this topic and it definitely impacts my coaching in brilliant ways.
Let go and breathe.
Yet, in the back of mind (a cluttered and not so well-lit place), I have this thought that all my study, meditation, practice should be having this stick somehow. That I will be enlightened when I no longer allow myself to go down the dark tunnels and can maintain this higher way of being. This past few months of my life would have been much more enjoyable if I hadn't trundled down the dark alleys of upset and disappointment and lack of communication. But, on the other hand (I am a Gemini and I rarely lack the ability to have a complete dialogue in my head), my daily experience of life is SO-O-O-O-O much brighter than ever before. And that is a gigantic victory. I have glimpsed the power of "letting go" and it is a major breakthrough!
This weekend is the last weekend "off" for a while. The reality of packing up a whole household and the usual nonsense of moving is in the wings. I am steeling myself for finding more of my own income instead of it being handed to me and the challenges (and rewards) that will bring. But right now, on this sunny Friday, I will putter for a time in the office then take the time to enjoy this beautiful place, this "borrowed" home and the gorgeous environment here. Here we go....
photo credit to andrealechase