As I looked at my calendar for this month, I noticed there are a number of pro bono engagements, times that will not be fully compensated, at least in a monetary sense. I am writing a final paper for a course in Leadership and have been asked to describe my leadership philosophy. Well, I thought, mine must be "give it away". Often the flip answers that I say to myself in the Q & A time that goes on in my head are worth pausing to consider. What is it about this desire to bestow something to someone that can have it return such value to us?
It is not as though I provide anything less of myself to my non-paying clients. Quite the opposite, I am almost more free to share all of me because there is no assigned value to live up to. I am coaching or advising them purely because I want to see them glow. There is nothing in it for me other than being present to the absolute magic that occurs when another human being gets a measure of themselves and sees their world from a brand new perspective. I have known for a long time that is priceless. And as I puzzle my way through this, I wonder how this balances out in the karmic world? Will it lead to the life I envision simply because I am willing to be generous now?
You may have noticed there are more questions than answers here (which probably doesn't bode well for the 1500 word paper due at the end of the week...). There is still the concrete, in the world reality, of paying rent and buying groceries that doesn't get handled just because I have shining eyes from my last fabulous conversation. I can consider a world where remuneration might be that my housing is covered or someone provides me with meals for a week but I don't yet have the structure built to participate in my life that way. I have a sense we are moving towards that but for now my freedom to travel, to eat at wonderful restaurants and indulge my loved ones is based on my bank balance not whether I have sufficiently balanced giving and taking.