Wimmins...

Wimmin: Women. A late 20th century creation. A feminist spelling to avoid the suffix men.

At the risk of once again offending the men in my life, I just want to give a big SHOUT OUT to the women of my virtual world. I am including those that I speak to by phone and text by cell phone as I count them as virtual because I can't hug them (at the moment).

In my relatively new exploration of the blogosphere, discovering the distinction between bloggy friends and RWP (Real World People), I have noticed that I am mostly in communication with other women in this world. Now, truthfully, I have always found it easier to talk to other women (with two notable exceptions - my husband because he has had 35 years to figure out my quirks and crazy bits and understands me when I am talking around my toothbrush - and my son, who has the distinct advantage of having half of my genes to be able to fathom what the hell I am on about). But the women I am daily spilling my guts with at Grace in Small Things from all over the world, from all different ages and backgrounds and the women whose blogs inspire me and tickle my fancy; they are special!

Again, my husband who has been developing on-line friendships far longer than me has told me of the capacity to establish connection in this impersonal, kinda suspiciously superficial internet world. I didn't really believe him. How do you know these are "real" people, not pretending to be nice when they are really mildly psychotic, small 'c' conservative, strangely twisted weirdos who only want access to your obviously top-secret email and your hush-hush, espionage covert operations?? (because we all have important documents on our computers that might risk national security if leaked, right?!).

Well, you don't - it comes down to trust, like most everything else in the world. I have faith that the women I share with and chat with and talk to are as real as me. Sometimes phony, often misconstrued, not always facing my less-than-perfect side, but warm blooded and mostly warm hearted and welcoming the vibrant connections and laughter generated each day.

My days are brighter, lighter and more fun for these glimpses into their lives. To the wimmin of my world - thank you, I love you!

Hotter than Hades

Swimming in the Pacific Ocean this far north is a novelty to me. All I have ever done up here is dash screaming into the surf, grit my teeth until I can no longer stand the intense ache of my ankle bones (which is often as far as I get) and scurry back to the beach. And this is in August usually. I only ever enjoyed swimming in the ocean below a certain latitude which also carried a significant price tag to splash around in the water (and drink froo-froo beverages).

The last two nights, I have volunteered to walk down to the beach and swim in the waters of Maple Bay. My husband was shocked. Even more so when I really did it. I am not known as a water baby and conditions, as you may have gathered, have to be pretty perfect to entice me. Floating in water that is cool, lifting my arms and legs above into the super heated air has been delightful. I am converted. At least as long as the temperature stays above 28 degrees.

This weather is unusual enough to gain most of the headlines in the local news (Heat WAVE; hottest day ever recorded {I am not kidding - in Vancouver, BC, yesterday...}, fires and other hot news dominate). I think the sun is fading the photos on my windowsill and it is certainly bleaching the letters on my whiteboard.

I have begun to feel guilty for my indulgent pleasure in this heat. But only a little. I am a teensy bit anxious for my wee grandson, in the city with my daughter and son-in-law, (especially since she doesn't feel up to the travel to my house more in the country) but I figure if you can find a little relief from the hottest part of the day, you should revel in this. Soon enough, we will be complaining about the rain and snow!

I must add to this my gratefulness for the encouragement I have received from my blogging hero Extranjera. This woman is amazing and I feel as though I live next door to her. The glimpses of her life, through her words are funny, thought-provoking and always worth a giggle. And she likes my blog *blush*!!

Suddenly Last Summer

I am reminded of Tennessee Williams on a day such as this. Blazing hot, sweltering in the shade, everything slowed down to the rhythm of the fan, still and calm. What else was central to Williams' plays was how the heat altered the people. Like alcohol, the intensity of the warmth has a profound effect on everyone. Especially because this kind of sultriness is quite alien to the west coast of Canada.

Bearing this aberration in mind, I will consciously make room for the somewhat cranky, out-of-sorts behaviour around me, including my own. This is not a time to be making life altering choices.

In this white hot heat and the aforementioned seismic activity from the birth of Kai, I am reminded to "let go and breathe". We don't have the generations of cultural adaptation to such warmth and have no traditions to respect it. This is the time of siesta and dining late in the evening. This is the perfect time to paraphrase Scarlett O'Hara (can you tell that Gone With the Wind also had a radical influence on me?) "It's too hot to think about that now, let's talk about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." (okay, you have to have the visual too, right? The southern belle, sighing with hand to brow??)

Being light in the heaviness of an unexpectedly tropical high pressure ridge - that is my challenge today.

Earthquakes and aftershocks...

While I had an inkling about how baby Kai would rock my world (I have been blogging/writing/talking about it for 9 months!), I am astonished at how quickly the shockwave has spread (okay, I am mixing metaphors here, but you get the planet altering effect that I am talking about, right?). Tia said he would change our world.

I have been crying off and on for two days - happy tears for the most part - but still unusal for me to wipe off all my mascara by 9 am twice now! I am leaping into risky conversations as the space seems very open for communication right now. I have spoken with people that I have not talked to for over two years; I am inviting people to visit and be around us all; I am accomplishing results without effort; people are saying things to me that I just never expected. I am observing shifts and metamorphoses (is that really the plural of metamorphosis?) all around and this, as I pointed out, is Day 2.

Catalyst: an agent that causes an interaction between persons or forces without being affected itself - thy name is Kai.

We welcome you and embrace the changes.

A baby is born...

My life changed direction yesterday - suddenly, inexplicably and completely. The wondering and pondering about the new role, the strange doppelganger experience of having your daughter pregnant with a child, the oddly remote sensation of touching her huge belly feeling the baby push back, the flashback quality of the memories of being in the same state - all of that is gone! The minute I witnessed that little human being on my daughter's chest, still attached to her physically but already interacting independently with his world, I realized in my bones that my world had shifted. I cannot wait to spend time with him, to talk to him, read to him, sing with him, laugh with him. From here, this vantage point of a generation removed, I get to be engaged with him from the time honoured status of grandmother.

Now, this whole "elder"thing has me a little daunted - it implies wisdom, experience and knowledge. Yah, uh huh, okay... not so sure about that part. However, I get a glimpse, no more than a glimpse, it is a gut level certainty about how connected we are - he is blood of my blood. I will have the privilege and responsibility for his safety in the world, his outlook on it all, how he will associate and communicate and how he will feel about himself. But I get to do all of this not from the intense, direct, sometimes overly myopic perspective of a parent but from over here where it is both a choice and a duty.

Being a grandparent - this is the playground where parents get to "do-over". I get the tremendous opportunity to be for baby Kai all the ways I wish I had been with my kids, knowing what I know now.

I am starting to get this whole circle of life thing (cue the Disney theme song...).

Finally, I want to acknowledge that I was able to experience this miracle of him being born, to have been of service to Tia and Jesse, who openly and willingly shared this incredible moment in their lives. They welcomed me to be with them, not as an observer but as an integral part of Kai's birth. I am humbled by this common occurrence that happens all over the world many times every day and each time results in this magical little being, whose life is just beginning; such unimaginable potential in their perfect tiny fingers, untapped brilliant thoughts in that sweet, little head.

I am blessed!!

There are other faces I remember....

It was brought to my attention that I may have slighted the entire male half of the species in my last blog. It was pretty much focused on the "fairer sex". And I realized that if the blogger-that-I-aspire-to-be-one-day Extranjera should happen to read only yesterday's blog, she would be saying "Woman, lighten up, inject a little humour in this or I will not be your follower anymore and you will be down to only TWO". Can't have that happen...

So, in an effort to be fair, I will share with you the gifts, blessings and magical moments that the men in my life have bestowed upon my daughter. I can think of 3 special men who have had an impact on her life. The first gave her mystery and wonder - absolute acceptance of who she was and honoured her power in the world. The second gave her humour and fun - a knowing that it was okay to play video games, collect strange and wonderful objects that were sacred in their own way and to read comic books and MAD magazines. The third and with no doubt the most important is her father. He gave her fearless adventure, a knowing-ness that she could tackle anything and an embracing of the path to awareness, no matter where it takes you!

And to balance it all, she had her big brother, who not only taught her to fart and belch on demand, to appreciate the masculine side of her being and to love ferociously!

Alright, that still reads as a little smarmy - not the macho blog I had in mind when writing it in my head last night (Extranjera, do you do that? What do the big-time bloggers do to prepare for the journey into blogdom??). Still and all, my darling daughter is the woman she is from the grace of all the people she has had her life!

Next, I will have to share with you how my son got to be the mad improv artist and extraordinary man that he has become...

There are faces I remember...

Yes, I know those are not the correct lyrics but that is what comes to mind. I have a lovely photo holder on my window sill with many little photographs of friends and family. These are the people that I share my day with and it amazes me that how often during the day my eye is drawn to them and I get a chance to think about them and remember.

I was recalling in spending time with some dear amigas on the weekend the contributions of the women in my life to my daughter. At this time when she is so close to motherhood, we were reminiscing about her as a precocious toddler, adventurous (well, fearless) ten year old and outrageous and brave teenager. We all have incredible memories of her. And I was able to acknowledge 3 of her 'other mothers' for what they gave Tia. One gave her the gift of intuition, trusting her gut and following her natural ability to see beyond the physical; another provided her with a passion for the garden and growing things, digging in the earth and blessing Gaia; the third bestowed her with magic, an owl feather and opened the door for her to see her path as a healer connected with her spirit.

I am clear that my darling daughter would not be the woman she is without the other women being there for her. Those three and many others that I was blessed with having on my own journey will stand with her now as she takes the next steps.