Thursday, July 9, 2009

Let go!! Part 2

Okay, now I am envisioning when you are a little kid and another kid who wants to be your friend but has disgusting sticky and filthy hands grabs onto you. You shake your arm violently and yell "Let GO!!". Having woken from a seemingly endless looping dream of needing to be in control of various situations, including taking care of my children, grandchildren and all the global disasters, I have realized that letting go isn't as simple as it sounds.

I have some signficant attachment to remaining attached.

In fact, I am convinced that if I don't keep scanning the horizon for the next attack/accident/crisis with shoulders tensed and adrenaline ready to shoot through my body that "my" world will quite possibly collapse. After all, it has been my vigilance that kept body and soul together for me and my extended family so far, isn't it?

This seems silly as I re-read it but that is contrary to the sensation that I have in my gut - this feels very grim over here in this sack of watery flesh. I actually operate in the world like I have the responsibility for taking care of it all. And I take on this grave duty very seriously, in case you hadn't noticed.

Now, there is good news... having noticed the extent of being gripped by this super hero delusion, I have an opportunity to hang up the cape. Bad news is that it is double knotted around my neck, so it might take a little loosening before I can take it off.

I always laugh with my coaching clients when the "trust" thing comes up - it is so consistent in everyone's conversation, how it all rolls back to trust. Coach, listen for thyself - uh huh, I can do this! My note from the Universe this morning (shout out to Mike Dooley) said that I will "prevail, thrive and arrive". I will trust that this morning!

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